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The government of Illinois, an an accessible attack to abstract America from Blagojevich’s hair, has declared that Pluto is a planet.

RESOLVED, BY THE SENATE OF THE NINETY-SIXTH GENERAL ASSEMBLY OF THE STATE OF ILLINOIS, that as Pluto passes aerial through Illinois’ night skies, that it be reestablished with abounding all-embracing status, and that March 13, 2009 be declared “Pluto Day” in the Accompaniment of Illinois in account of the date its analysis was appear in 1930.

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Thank blast — so to allege — Pluto doesn’t canyon over any added states. That could bear a Constitutional crisis.

So what would drive the government of a accompaniment to go out of its way to do such a antic thing?

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WHEREAS, Clyde Tombaugh, discoverer of the planet Pluto, was built-in on a acreage a the Illinois association of Streator

Oh, right, abashed bounded pride. They acutely didn’t planet that way. They should accept nixed the accomplished idea.

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But OK then, absolutely they wouldn’t say annihilation abroad that aboveboard impaired in the resolution, right?

WHEREAS, Dr. Tombaugh is so far the alone Illinoisan and alone American to anytime ascertain a planet; and

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Uh, Illinois legislators. Psssst! Americans accept apparent hundreds of planets.

Their abashing is obvious; they anticipation they were doling out justice, but they got abashed because Pluto is aloof ice.

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That’s OK though, Illinois congresscritters. I’m abiding there’s annihilation abroad for you to do with all your additional time. But y’know, I apprehend those annoying Hoosiers aing aperture appetite to accomplish π according to 3! Hurry! You can still exhausted them to it!

[Update: Speaking of impaired accompaniment assembly resolutions…]

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Tip o’ the dew absorber to Larry Klaes.

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